The newest and now subsequently biggest cheese grater in my life is when I get told that Cassy is “too young” or “only One” when it comes to discipline and manners. Now I don’t know about you, but I believe that when your child is capable of making their own decisions and in some cases, defying you, they are capable of being taught manners and rules.
I am no stranger to having to discipline your child. Neither is Chad. Cass is the best company and probably the greatest being I know and love to spend time with (besides you Chad, don’t worry lol) but if all people tell you is that their kid is wonderful with no issues, they are talking the biggest load of BS.
Ever since Cass realised that there is a world outside of Mommy and Daddy’s arms, it’s been an adventure. Add to it the fact that she does not need any encouragement from us when it comes to venturing out and exploring or meeting new people. If on the very rare occasion, you meet her and she is quiet, it is either because she is yet to take a nap or you need to give her five minutes and then she won’t stop talking. Like seriously won’t stop!
Chad and I find ourselves saying “No”, “Don’t go there”, “Cassy stop” SO much! I mean seriously, we have a naughty corner and a Mr Penguin that will visit to give her a scolding if she doesn’t listen. For a while I felt like it was the only thing I was saying to her. I was wondering where the fun ‘chats’ and times were. It was very overwhelming. I could see the Terrible Twos creep in. And that’s when I made the decision to nip this crap in the bud because granted, kids are kids BUT I believe that there is a big difference between childhood ignorance and being downright stoutgat!
It’s pretty tough for her grannies and great granny to see, because obviously when you are done raising and disciplining your own offspring, it’s all about the fun with the great grandchild and grandchild. We were at a supper with some of Chad’s family and Cass walked up to a fellow tot and took a grape out of her bowl and walked away. Now everyone chuckled but for me, this isn’t okay. I walked up to her and explained to her that the grape did not belong to her. If she wanted one, she should ask the little girl first and then take one. Chad’s uncle laughed and said “Ag she’s only one, don’t be so hard on her.” I firmly replied that she knows better and is not too young to know that you ask before taking anything. And we get this from all sides. Trust me, this kid is all about her innocent face and ways it can get her out of muck! She will go to a corner she is not allowed and look at both Chad and I, and give a sweet smile while reaching out her hand to touch what she knows she shouldn’t. Waiting for a reaction from either one of us.
No. I’m not having it.
So as it stands, Cassy knows that the magic word is “please” and once you are given something you say “thank you”. Because she makes her own rules, more often than not she gets through the “Please. Thank you” in one go, but it’s still a rule she never forgets. And sometimes for the hell of it, I ask her why she says this. And she replies “Av manners.” Gives me such a chuckle. lol
She waits before being given something. Just because she asks, it does not guarantee that she will get it. I remind her about “patience” and tell her to “get a grip.” She repeats these terms and it reinforces its meaning. I don’t tolerate throwing herself back or this laying on the floor nonsense. I am well aware that it will happen but I have seen that my reaction plays a big part in the outcome. She can see that it doesn’t affect me or my decision. And because they are doing it for that reason, if it means nothing, it comes to an end. Granted, when we are in company it take a bit longer because there are new faces to entertain or hide behind but it doesn’t change my belief that boundaries are important.
Besides your love and respect, toddlers need consistency. The term “sensible” and toddler do not always go hand in hand, but if you are consistent, it will help them learn about how to behave and ease the intensity of any future battles as they get older.
But that’s just my opinion.