It’s been a while guys. Welcome back to my blog.

If you follow my social media pages, you’ve seen for yourself that Cassidy has grown in leaps and bounds. She watches everything I do. She copies everything I do. This is alot of pressure but I also feel blessed to use my life as a precedent to how she lives hers one day.

Now many of you know that I am the biggest advocate of female empowerment. I raise my fist and defend fellow females very easily. In a world that has taught us to be in competition with one another, I strive to find peace, common ground and mutual respect. Even admiration. I’ve been in many situations in which society deemed it necessary for two women to not get along and class themselves as enemies. And eventually, we broke that mold and became friends. Started off as “enemies” for lack of a better word, but found common ground eventually. And you know what I was told? “You women didn’t even like each other and now you are friends? You both are psycho.” That’s not okay guys. People are allowed to grow. People are allowed to mature. People are allowed to change. Having strong women in your corner and encouraging forming bonds with women instead of tensions SHOULD be the norm. And this is what I want to instill in Cassidy.

But what does it mean to have these views in 2019? When people hear the word “feminist” they think of someone who is anti-male. But you know what, it doesn’t actually have anything to do with men or needs to be an attack on them. It’s about EMPOWERING women in a world that doesn’t. It’s about standing up for what is right and expressing distaste at what is wrong. Making yourself heard. Speaking on behalf of those who have a quieter voice than you do. It’s about fairness and inclusion. It’s about being kind. Be fucking kind people.

Now I am by no means encouraging you to be a pushover when I say “be kind”. But when you do things, do it with love. Stand up for what is right, tackle what is wrong. Be frank but have good intentions. And stand by your values and morals. Not everyone is going to like it when you speak up but there is a HUGE difference in being blindly loyal and supporting someone while still advocating for what is right and wrong. A vlogger put it perfectly when she said: “There is a huge difference between speaking shit about someone and speaking the truth about a shitty person / something shitty that someone did.” And I loved that. If someone cannot take your criticism and support of another female for want and need of blind loyalty, you are MUCH better off. If you are scared to speak up or fear offending someone with the truth and potentially rocking the boat, reconsider the boat you were in. We need stronger women out there. We need brave women who encourage, applaud and uplift other women every day.  Women who don’t betray the trust of other women to get ahead in life, love and everything else. There is a seat at the table for us all.

So what do I teach Cassidy? She is already a very headstrong and vocal little girl. My grandmother hates when I encourage her to say “I’m a strong, independent woman”. But I encourage it nonetheless. Because I want her to know that. I want it to be second nature. Before Dean came into our lives, it was just her and I. And getting used to having a man around wasn’t easy. We were set in our ways. And I didn’t want her to think that you lose your strength and independence. But I also had to teach her balance. I had to make sure she COULD do it, but also to loosen the reigns and be okay with a little help now and then. And that it didn’t change who you were. I am teaching her to be an includer and not an excluder. She tends to lead the pack with her friends and I want her to be aware of how her strong personality can affect others and to use it wisely. I want her first instinct to be to protect herself and her fellow females instead of being selfish and thinking that sharing or protecting someone else would take away from her blessings. I want her to realise that she has the power to make a real difference in this world. They all do.

The MAIN thing I’m teaching her is something that really saddens me. But it is a must. It is the control of her body. That it is HERS. And if she is uncomfortable with anything, to step back and to say no. I don’t know why people seem to think that they have a right to make children uncomfortable. We don’t do it to adults. So why do it to someone who cannot advocate for themselves? Cassidy does not speak to strangers. And if we see someone I know and who she does not, she looks to me for “the nod” which is a silent agreement between us to go ahead and greet in the way you feel comfortable. That it is safe. I have taught her that it is respectful to greet but if you do not feel comfortable giving a hug and a kiss, don’t. It is YOUR body. This applies to family and friends. And I’ve gotten the stink eye because of it, especially from the older generation, on more than one occasion but my care is minimal. If my kid doesn’t want to kiss you, I am on her team. If she doesn’t want to hug you and that’s an issue for you, speak to your therapist about it and find some closure.

When it comes to protecting women and children, we are SORELY lacking. So we need to protect ourselves and equip our daughters to protect themselves. It’s on us ladies. And you know what, we’ve got this.

xxx